Against a social backdrop in which gay marriages is on the increase, while mixed gender marriages are decreasing, the future of the human race is in serious jeopardy. To add a rise in the number of divorce among Muslims to that cocktail for disaster, is clear sign of a fundamental lack of understanding of the Divine institution of Marriage. This article addresses that void in Islāmic intellect by appealing to the teachers to aspire to truth and wisdom, rather than a regurgitation of accumulated information on the pretext of intelligence and truthfulness regarding the Deen of Islām.
A major problem among the Islāmic community is the practical difficulties that flow from the lack of a coherent knowledge and understanding of Surah An-Nisā’ [Chapter 4], verses 34 and 35, in the Magnificent Arabic Qur’ān. The exposition that follows is merely a restatement of the true Islāmic foundation and purpose of marriage, and refreshes the hitherto very lucid Divine guidance on the position and conduct of men and women within the institution of Marriage. The following are some basic, but crucial points which the parties to a marriage must know, if they are to interact and maintain their marriages on the Divine Basis set by Allāh (swt); to demonstrate kindness, mercy and justice, so that men and women are able to live with each other in peace and tranquillity.
Basic Requirements
Every marriage with experience turmoil if it starts off without knowledge and a firm and sincere will to apply of the following profound Islāmic principles. Equally, with the passing of time, marriage will be thrown into bedlam and confusion – causing tremendous misery, pain, hurt and loss – where one or both parties cease to have knowledge and to remain truthful in applying the knowledge of the real object and purpose of marriage. It is not the man or woman who decides whether to produce, and how much, love to generate. Nor is the love of a man or woman at the centre of the universe of marriage. Love is certainly an important Divine fusing element, but real success in the marriage depends on knowing and manifesting the following:
The Divine purpose is the same for both men and women, namely, to manifest through meaningful and sincere gratitude, glorification and praise, their honest and unfettered obedience and servitude [Surah Dhārīyāt (Ch.51):56] to Allāh (swt).
It is Allāh who originated marriage and has commanded it as the primary Divine institution for:
men and women to fulfil their true purpose (see 1 above);
Divine use in demonstrating Allāh’s (swt) limitless skill in repeating the creation of man through the reproductive system He created. Men and women are simply honoured guest and instruments in that Divine process;
Testing equally the firmness and earnestness of men and women in giving to Allāh (swt) the right that is due to Him – to establish the extent to which they are Bakhiil or Mashaḥḥa (meaning, miserly, niggardly, stingy, tenacious, penurious, avaricious or greedy or (in the more intense and extreme form) covetous, envious, jealous or vehemently, excessively, greedily and culpably desirous or vain);
Bringing together the individuals in whose hearts Allāh (swt) has, Himself, put relative degrees of love, to try them, as well as show that He is Most Just in the kindness and mercy they experience in the peace and tranquillity that marriage offers to both the parties if, and only if, they refrain from being Bakhiil or Mashaḥḥa, and give to Allāh (swt) the obedience (in doing good) lawfully due to Him.
The structure and components of the institution of marriage have been divinely decreed. In the exercise of His Absolute and Unfettered Divine Knowledge, Wisdom and Power, Allāh (swt) has established as His preference, model and precedent of the Islāmic marriage, the union between the male and female.
The position or rank of the male and the female is not the within the province of Darajah (rank decreed by Allāh, on the basis of the conduct and what an individual has earned), but founded upon Faddala Allāh (rank and position preferred and ordained on the basis of Divine knowledge of the objects to be attained and the wisdom of Allāh in selecting that arrangement as the optimum within the Divine scheme.
The Mahr is the legal consideration from the male and a prerequisite for a valid Islāmic marriage. It is merely a token.
The above is extracted from a manuscript which Al Hajj Maknoon was working on at the time of his passing. Please watch this space for the full version of the manuscript which will be published chapter by chapter in the weeks to come Inshallah…